Thursday, May 19, 2011

From Russia With Love

well where to start from....The Dramas started even before i landed in Russia...to be more precise, i was in Stuttgart, Germany, for a Health and Happiness program on the night of 11th of May...after the Program i was taken to a Devotees house for the night. The House was in a very beautiful village just next to the Black Forest in Southern Germany...well if u guys have an idea of Black Forest and Stuttgart..then you would appreciate what i am narrating...Stuttgart is almost an hour away from Black Forest..which means to catch a train from Stuttgart at 8:30 am...i had to leave at 7 am...that gives me 5 hrs of rest as i reached my host's home at about 1 am...the previous night(or morning rather)...
well life is hectic hectic...a little bit crazy as far as logistics are concerned....
what to do? no choice...
Well we almost missed the train from Stuttgart to Berlin...and i am thinking....no train...no passport ...no visa...how am i going to Russia???

The Saga continues....One person called me in the Train and said that he will bring back my passport from the Russian Agency(who were doing my visa)...So the passport was coming back at 2pm...i reach by 3pm...a little food and rest and 7 pm back to Tegel Airport in Berlin for the Moscow ...

well that was the plan...and as life plans for us...i reach Berlin...and my dear Friend Peter Mittermiller was there to pick me up...He had the passport.(thank god)...the visa was there(phew)...

Then i noticed something...my name on the Visa was spelled wrong!!!!, there was no photo on the Visa...!!!!, Also visa issued on the 12th of May and Date of Valid entry into Russia was 13th May(OUR BELOVED'S BIRTHDAY...THATS WHAT I WANTED TO DO ...CELEBRATE GURUJI'S BIRTHDAY WITH THE RUSSIAN TTC)....
well i found out my flight would land in Moscow at 2 am Moscow time...Phew...what a relief!!!...all went well....just before i boarded the flight i called GURUJI and wished HIM...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!...WHAT a sweet voice...i could just talk to HIM ...forever...and i told HIM...about going to the Russian Ashram....

The flight to Moscow was ok(nothing much to write about)...what happened when i landed was interesting....I felt i was in a bus rather than in a Plane...the moment the plane landed all the passengers started getting up and taking their overhead luggage out...well!! well!!, can u imaging German Airline (Berlin Air) with German Staff ..but Russian Passengers....what a scene...i felt like telling them....Hey guys we havent reached the gate yet!, but how could i communicate...most of them dont speak english...as we got out i saw everyone started running....i thought something was wrong...found out it was just a hurry to be in the line for customs and immigrations...Well we say Chaos is the gift of Indians to the world....Well either i was in India or the Russians suddenly became Indians...it was like someone was selling a great product at discounted price in the Bazaar....
2:30 am...and i was still looking for my luggage...well there was one more hurdle ...the customs....it was again 400 people passing through 2 small gates...o my GOD ....WELCOME TO RUSSIA....

AS i came out....my eyes started searching for Alexei...my Russian host(contact)....suddenly from behind so many people ...one guy came out holding a Placard of my name...i smiled...and asked :

Are u Alexei...
No, he said. I am ...
i asked: "where is Alexei?"
He said: in the Toilet!! and he smiled....well at 3 am in the Morning having started from Stuttgart then Berlin and Reaching Moscow...it didnt sound like a joke. (so why are u smiling Mr.)
Then suddenly Mr Alexei showed up!. and i had to skillfully remind them to take the 2 bags from my hands, i was sooooo tired. I said...so where to put these Bags...as if they understood...and took the 2 bags and we came out to the car....well they don't speak much english...and most conversation with them at 3 am (its important to remember the time....) was ya ya...good good...where is the bed...are we there yet?....hahah smile smile....

But honestly they were sweet people..
Finally we reached Alexei's Home...He had a Brand new car...so i thought well the home would be good and i would sleep comfortably...Well GURUJI SAYS: Expectation Reduces the Joy in Your Life....what to say..sweet person, nice car, interesting home. It was funny...the largest country on the planet...we so much land and space...but the home was a very small flat ...(somewhat like in Hong Kong)...
The Bathroom was so small that if i entered walking straight then my shoulders would touch the walls...not that i am big...Alexei was bigger than me both in Length and Breath.....(well its like Mark Fry and a half) ahahahah....i was so tired that i couldn't care less...just wanted a bed...next flight was at 10 am..so had to leave home at 7 am again...which meant sleep for 3:30 hrs...only...wake up at 6:30 and leave by 7 am...

Well, i woke up at 6:15 am...went for a bath...O MY GOD....NO HOT WATER....the whole bath was UI UI UI...AH OH AH....(Indians will recognize the song...thande thande paani se nahaana chahiye)....well that song writer never visited Russian, how he would know what is Cold water!!!!

So finally we got out of the Bonsai Flat...in the car....i was happy to fly again...at least lots of space in the Airport...Well, reached there by 8 am...There, another person joined me for the Flight to Sochi...(my dear friends the journey is quite long...even after another 2:15 hrs flight...another 3 hrs of drive or train ride to our beautiful Russian Ashram was still awaiting)....Me and Ruslan checked in (Ruslan is the Russian Teacher who was accompanying me to the Ashram)...

Felt very happy...now i can relax ..have some food....well Man proposes GOD disposes....
Our flight got cancelled...so after 2 hrs at the Airport they tell us we cant fly...wooooow...and i had to be there that night for Satsang and GURU POOJA...IT WAS THE 13TH OF MAY!!!!!...

So the Airlines tell us to collect our baggage and get refund...so we go to the baggage area like obedient children...a little glum...but what to do ?..no choice...well everyone's baggage came...mine was no where to be seen....i asked the airlines...they were confused too!!!...i told them i just checked in...never flew...so where is my baggage???.....(in the meantime..the Russian ashram people are frantically trying to get us to fly to Krasnodar..another city 3 hrs away from Tuapse Ashram),,There were 5 women who started seaching for my baggage.....they couldn't find it...i looked at Ruslan...and said...WELCOME TO RUSSIA...
They looked and looked...and sounded like they were about to give up...suddenly i had an idea....lets create Panic....well i told them ...my next flight was in one hour...so search fast...they looked at me...and let me be honest....they were very nice ....they did give their 100%....i was too giving mine (100% panic)....

Finally one of them after an hour said...they found one baggage ...i was relieved ...now atleast we would be able to take the 2 pm flight....woooow..what a day...well the baggage came back...u wont believe...it had a lock...yes my dear friends it had a lock...Oh let me tell u something about my check in Suitcase...i never put a lock...my dhoties and Kurtas are not afraid of anyone or anything...they like to be free...so i dont bind them...if they want to slip out of the Baggage and go for a walk ....they are free to do so.....have a breather...hahahaha....

well but this situation was funny ...becoz the suitcase had a lock!...whose lock?...a zipper was broken...so was one of the handle...whats going on?...and the baggage tag on it was not for Sochi....it was still the old tag, from Berlin to Moscow....so many questions? popped up my mind!!! was some one really wanted my dhoties...or wanted to give me something....is there something in the bag that i need to know off?...was there a surprise gift?...well when Ruslan got to know of this he got nervous...(well it's your own country and you know your people best ...so u better be nervous)...he said: Swamiji please check if there is something inside...i asked how ...its locked...!! then he broke open the lock...and my dear friends ...my clothes for the first time came out to greet me openly in an airport...16 years of travelling with them...they never saw an airport..i never let them out in this mad world of travel...what if something happens?!!!!!....anyway...there was nothing unusual inside...though my clothes did take a breather!!!!

In the meantime...another flight was booked and and we got an intimation from the Ashram...so went for the Second round of check in ..to Krasnodar....yeaaaaahhh!!! Fight was ok...nothing much...landed...
there was our dear Driver waiting to receive us...well again he ignored my two suitcases (i dont know whats with the hospitality here....they like us to carry our own suitcase...what if there is something inside!!! hhahahah)

again i skillfully reminded Ruslan...where to put the Baggage?!!!...he understood...
well we went to the car....and started driving...what a drive!!!..i just could look at the driver sitting in the front seat...no dear ones..nothing wrong with my neck...or there was not visible wall between us...it was actually an invisible wall of stench....dirty teeth...cigarette....and who know what not?....i opened the window ..and promised not to look beyond 90 degrees...because at the 91 degree angle there was the wall of ...u know what????.....stench.....

every on the highway was driving at 120 or maybe 140 km/hr...and we were ar 80 km/hr...and i said in my mind...here we go ....here we go again!!! Man ...its not stop entertainment.....its was interesting....the drive turned from boring flat lands....to suddenly beautiful mountains...lush green....amazing views...i wish i could describe....one look and i forgot all my tiredness and hunger and thirst....wooooooow....sooooo beautiful.......and guess what...something suddenly happened to our driver...he was driving slow on the flat lands...now in the hills he started going 120km/hr.....like on a rally!!!....amazing people....
after 3 hrs...we reached the Ashram on the Black Sea....beautiful 930 hectares of land!!! wooooww.....what a beautiful place....we entered....and i could hear the sweet sound of the Satsang....O TTC ...here i come...

rest next time...

2 comments:

  1. Wooooow Swami ji, what a trip :))))) Enjoyed each part of it :)) You are too funny..

    Hope that the way back is more smooth.

    You are the Best, Love You, Jai Gurudev

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